Hey guys, Cartman here. I am the frequently mentioned guy that this buffoon talks about in his stories. This is the story abou the almost-deadly road rage... So, Dawg, Rattler, and I were going to check out an abandoned school in "Abanton", PA. It was a long drive, so we took the highway and a toll road. Dawg wasn't happy that I directed us to a toll road, but he never said not to. While we were driving, there was a super slow Ford bronco in the passing lane. I mean, they were going 50 and a 65. I'm riding shotgun and I told Dawg to flash his lights once or twice at the guy so he'll move over. This guy proceeds to ride up on their butt and flash the lights many times within the span of 10 seconds. I then tell him to just go around because they weren't moving over. He proceeds to speed by them, blaring on the horn as he does so. He also gave them the one finger wave as we drove past them and went into the passing lane again. I noticed bright LEDs coming at us in the wing mirror about half a mile down the road and that's when I realized:
IT WAS THE FORD BRONCO!
I basically tell Dawg to floor it and lose this guy. For a mile, we are doing 110 and losing him. Traffic then starts to back up a bit, and they are staying with us like white on rice. We then get to the toll booth and that's backed us up a lot. As soon as it got a picture of his license plate, I told him to floor it and he did. We cut off a tractor trailer, and doing so, this guy was still tracking us down. Dawg then has the bright idea of flashing a pistol at them without any thinking. It was only a pellet gun, but you cannot tell that while going 80 down the highway. I then grab the pistol from him as soon as he brings it back in the car and I put it on my side, and putting it nicely, I called him a major idiot. After this, the guy backed off a little bit but then started coming back. So with my quick thinking, I tell him to get in the right lane and take the exit at the absolute last second. He did so and off went the bronco. Just to be safe, I had him park in a parking lot for a couple minutes so we would fall behind a decent bit and we ended up taking back roads the rest of the way to our destination. SCHOOL EXPLORATION COMING SOON
Febuary 10th, 2026 (This a portion of the blog story but more detailed and from my perspective)
Mr. Dawg and I wanted to hang out. He originally proposed the idea of walking around a local town for a few hours. I was game for this, but then when he came over to my house, he said we were just going to walk by the countryside road. I was not game for this as it is more dangerouse and it get's dark quick. As a counter offer, I proposed that we stop by Record Plug and Goodwill. After some negotiation, he agreed to the idea, but also wanted to stop by the flea market (which was closed at the time) and dumpster dive. We never did this before, but I thought it sounded like a good idea so we headed out. We first hit up the record shop. I was done looking, but Dawg was taking his sweet time, so I kept looking around. I found a new section which had blank cassetes and self recorded cassets for real cheap. 50c for the blanks and 25c for the recored ones. I got 2 of each and then Perry Como's Pure Gold on cassete. I have the CD already, but wanted the tape copy as well. After I got them, I decided to see what was hold Dawg up. He was thinking very deeply about some adult magazines and DVDs. There was this gay one called Black Knights and Spanish Swords which we both found amuzing. Dawg did really consider making the purchase. I may end up buying it to give to him as a joke becasue I genuinly can't tell which way he leans half the time. I think he ended up buying 1 or 2 cassetes and one of them was 5 whole bucks. Way too much for me but he liked it so he has every right to get it. After this, we hit up the flea market.
When we got there, we parked across from it becasue all the entrences were closed. I made sure to lock the car and he said I needed to take it easy. I will always lock a car no matter the nieghborhood. We climbed over a fence, and there was heaps of snow on both sides. Dawg sank through and got coated, but even though I am at least 4o pounds more than him, I did not sink at all. We got over the fence and started looking around. For dumpsteres and just exporing in general. There was a building that had lights on and apparently Dawg saw someone. I did not want to take any chances walking by, so I routed us a different way. We came by a dumpsters and the one was absolutly LOADED! As soon as the lid opened, Dawg found a Pink Floyed CD. As soon as I saw him pick it up, I tried to grab it from him and we started wrestling over it. I almost got him on the ground, but I lost my footing and ate crap. After we almost killed eachother, he opened the case, it was empty. We laughed about it and I got a bunch of empty cases for when I obtain toatally legal copies of music of the internet and then copy them to cds, I have good cases. I also got a CD carry case and something VERY special. AN AIR FRIER!!!!!! Brand new in box. I perfect nick too. After we were done with the dumpster, we walked around the rest of the complex and found nothing, but it was really cool to see it all empty and quiet. While looking around, a bunch of lights turned on at once and I got spooked, so i skedadled along with Dawg. While running, I slipped on ice and ate crap. I was limping and when we got back, It was pretty messy. Basically my whole knee was covered with dried up blood and it messed up my jeans which made me more upset than my knee. When we were done, we went back to get our stuff and bring it to the car. While crossing the road. the air frier fell out of the box onto the road and there was a car coming. My first reaction was to toss it to the side of the road. However, it fell short and hit the pavement. I kicked it the rest of the way and let the car go by. The top broke off which I did not see till we got back and also the side was severly damaged. Oh yeah, Dawg got a Casset drawer, some wire, a few other things but I forget what they are. Now, onto Goodwill.
I looked up when they close and it said 9:00pm and we got there around 7:55. The first thing I did was go to the electronics section and pretty much as soon as I got back there, over the PA a clerk said they were closing. It was time to hussle. I got an old Garmin Nuvi 260w and a usb dvd drive. He got an old house phone with a mini cassete for voicemails. When asked if he wanted to donate his change, Dawg went on a whole rant about taxxes and the government to justify himself. I just say "not today." He then got into an arguement wiht the methhead employee about Android vs Apple and that was a waste of time. After we left, I tried out my gps which did not get any reception, but the day after it did. When we got back, the first thing I did was try out the air fryer. It thankfully turned on and I made fish sticks which were the best I have ever had. Later that night I beleive or the night after, I covered up the top. I had an Xbox 360 side panel laying around, so I hotglued that to the top. It looks pretty good, just have to cut it to fit better. We hang out till around 11:00 pm. We exchanged software knowlage, buisness deals, and just had a good time in general. It got late and we decided to call it a night, so we both went on our merry ways.
Febuary 21, 2026
Cartman here again. Today was uneventful for the first half with me basiacally just chilling in my room watching the clock tick down. The event I was waiting for was my one friend, Butters, to come over so we could hang out a bit. When he got here, I helped bring in his belongs which consisted of a PS5, monitor for the PS5, a controller, and two containers of ice cream. One was mint chocolate chip and the other was butter pecan. Mint chocolate chip is the best flavor and butter pecan is in second. I will die on this hill. While we ate some ice cream, we watched some F1 Yapathon on Youtube, and talked about cameras. After we were done eating, he wanted to look at my camera collection, my 36mm film cameras in particular. He wanted to purchase one of them but wasn't sure how he would like it, so I loaned it to him. He needed film for it, so we hopped in the whip and peeled out. He also hooked up his PS5 to update all his stuff since he has a limited data plan and them games be huge. First, we headed to the camera shop. THEY WERE CLOSED AT 4PM ON A SATURDAY We found it toatal bs, but we didn't let it get to us, just dogged on the buisness for loosing proffit with it's hours. Since they were closed, we headed out to Best Buy. We were greeted by the door lady and she directed us to the camera film. Guess what. They didn't have any. I don't think they even carry it at all since all of the other shelves were full of Polaroid film and some sort of disposable camera film. We looked around for a bit and checked out the pc section. As soon as we got there, we saw this kid playing Roblox on one of the comuters. We both locked in very hard and carried on. We looked at everything and ooooooooooooooohed over the racing wheels. I have a Logitech g29, but the Direct Drive Turtle Beach felt pretty freakin sweet. After that, I changed one of the pc wallpapers to George Russel as Woody. Then, we left for my house. When we got back, I wanted him to try out my racing sim rig. He really enjoyed it aside from me having an office chair so it kept rolling back. He wanted to take a break and eat more ice cream, so I hopped on and he admired my percision vehicle control. Right after the complement, I drove into a mountain side. After I drove for a bit, he had to head out. I helped him carry all of his stuff out and bid him farewell. He is definitely much more tame than Dawg and it was really good hanging out with him. First time in a couple months we hung out just because his car has been in the shop and he is swamped with work. I get my lisence fairly soon, but until then, I am handicapped.
Febuary 22, 2026
On this day, it was rather misserable. Because my mother and brother were being themselves, I spent basically the whole day in my room. Playing Beamng Drive, watching Youtube, and toatally legally obtaining music. But, I went upsatairs around noon to make some chicken salad and I went up a while later to meet someone. IT WAS DAWG! He had a box of goodies that he would be putting in the local auction and I asked if I could look through it. He said I could and swung by after he was done hanging out with one of his other friends. While I scowered through the box, I had Kitchen Nighmares playing. It was the Ms. Jeans Southern Cousin episode, one of my favorites. In the box. I found some Wii accesories, NES stuff, Gamecube stuff, Skylander portals (ew), and some random computer stuff. I ended up snagging a Dell charging adapter that he gave to me for free, a logitech mouse for $1, and an Apple Timecapsule. He said if it worked $4, and if not $1. Purely becasue he can't use it. I took him up on it and hooked it up to my computer. It worked so I will pay him the next time I see him. Had to do a little bit of trouble shooting, but all it took was a hard reset. Someone was not smart with the Time Capsule however. There is a lot of juicy stuff on there and was defanitly owned by a teenager or someone in their early 20's. Lot's of pictures (very high quality for the time and proffestional but nothing NSFW), text messages, valentines stuff, self made stories and poems, and defanitly enough stuff to possibly blackmail people. I am not that guy though. But, I am keeping the stuff on it for now as it is funny and there are things on it I like such as the valentines stuff which is a good template. I will probally eventually delete the stuff, but for now it stays. From what I can tell, it was last used in 2009 as those are the newest text messages I saw. I currently have my Time Machine on there. Before it, I was using a hardrive which I connected with a USB adapter. Does the job, but much easier to loose track of than a big white square. Less storage too as the hdd only has about 260 gb of storage, while the Time Machine has 500. I am very happy with my purchase and it will be put to good use. I haven't tried out the mouse or charger yet, but I am more invested in the Time Capsule. For the rest of the night I experimented with cassette tapes, recording my voice to amp up my mix tapes. Dawg lent me one of his tapes which he made last year, and I lent him one. I recorded two of my vinyls to a tape and it sounded just like the vinyls. Dawg has tried in the past, but had issues. Clearly they were skill based. I recorded "Tom Jones Live at the Talk of the Towm" and "Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon." There was a lot of empty space with Tom Jones, so I filled it. The song "I Want You (She's so Heavy) by The Beatles is one of my favorite songs of all time. I you know what I am talking about, I just filled the void with the ending right after the "YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" until the cassette ran out of tape. I recorded it on the 20th, but didn't update on that day. Not sure how Dawg is liking it as he sucks at responding to the phone, but I really liked his. Has a bunch of different songs which I knew and some I didn't, but enjoyed. I got the idea of talking in the cassette from his tape actually since he treated it like the radio where he would check back in every few songs. It makes the tape more enjoyable than just music and let's you know what's in store for you.